So, what is it like to have friends when you are living with invisible diseases? One might think it wouldn’t be much different. This is somewhat true. However, people who suffer internally can’t always communicate to the outside world what is wrong. The same goes for depression. You cannot force anyone to speak about what is wrong.
In fact, on my sister’s wedding (the picture seen below), I was having a minor flare. Some days, you just have to suck it up and keep going...because every day is kind of intense. I didn’t look upset. I “seemed fine”.
But, that is just how invisible disease’s work. Some days, you are fine, and others, you feel like ripping your stomach out...or your mind...or your feelings. It just depends on what you have.
My friends sometimes think I am just moody. Sometimes, they just think I don’t want to hang out with them. I feel awful that thier presence is not what turns me away. It is something internal that I can only attempt to control.
So, if you ever have a friend who has IBS or Crohn’s or Colitis, be careful with what you say to them. You don’t want to turn your friendship into the titanic. Here are some pretty funny tips about how to avoid saying the wrong things, specifically with Crohn’s: https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/11-things-not-to-say-to-people-with-crohns-or-colitis/ . However, when it comes to other invisible ailments, it never hurts to stop before you speak.
In the end, I don’t want to tell my friends how I feel all the time. It sucks: I’ll be honest. BUT, the more I learn to handle the pain within myself and care for the people around me when I can, the more I can learn to take care of the invisible disease I suffer from. And, the more I can learn to speak up about how much it hurts. I won’t let my friendships sink because of something only I can see.
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